Call me insane, but the only thing that makes me *want* to get married is the joy of motherhood. I wanted to experience that, I wanted to experience the joy of giving birth. I wanted to create a new life. I wanted to play God for a bit. Holding this tiny thing that came out of you, I don’t think I can even put to words how that must feel.
I don’t what any of this anymore.
Yesterday, I saw a man beating his wife in a moving car. Yes, you read that correct. The man was driving and hitting his wife simultaneously. I tried following the car to atleast take down the number, but couldn’t. And that’s when I decided, ‘bacche iss zamaane main nahi paida karungi’.
I don’t want to give birth to a child in a society that doesn’t even spare a three month old kid or a 70 year old grandmother. I don’t want to be fretting constantly over my child when she is away from my sight. I don’t want to spend sleepless nights when she spends the night at our relatives or her friends.
Millions of articles have been written on how the mentality of men has to be changed, I don’t see it happening. I see in my office, the male staff gossiping about the female intern in my office just because they think her dressing is ‘inappropriate’. And this is AFTER they have had lengthy discussions on the recent gang rape, and how wrong it was.
We had massive outrage about the Delhi gang rape, less than a week later we hear of another gang rape, and then another and then another. It just doesn’t stop.
If not rape, she may be subjected to eve-teasing, molestation, domestic violence. It starts even before a girl is born, and ends only when she dies.
I don’t see any hope.
The only way out is not to bring any more kids in this world.